Over the past several weeks with final exams, I’ve heard a lot of high school students talk about their anxiety. I actually work in two different high schools and have an 8th and 9th grader of my own, who go to separate schools.

After going over it with my own teens, I’m convinced this “anxiety talk” is pretty common.

Teenagers certainly have a flair for the dramatic. They also like to feed off of each other and crave a sense of belonging. Having anxiety (or at least talking about having anxiety) has become quite the popular thing these days.

In fact, it’s almost like you’re an oddball if you don’t talk about your anxiety.

This got me wondering if they were talking about stress or anxiety. So, I did some research. Turns out that the two are easy to mix up, but it’s also crucial to know how to tell the difference.

On the outside the two can appear to be the same thing. Here are some symptoms of both.

• Sleep disturbance
• Frequent headaches
• Back and/or neck pain
• Feeling light-headed, faint, or dizzy
• Sweaty palms or feet
• Difficulty swallowing
• Frequent illness
• Irritability
• Gastrointestinal problems
• Excessive worry
• Rapid heart rate
• Muscle tension
• Feeling overwhelmed
• Having difficulty quieting the mind
• Poor concentration
• Forgetfulness
• Low energy

External vs. Internal

Stress is triggered by an external force. Whether it’s a grizzly bear chasing you down the street or an upcoming deadline, the trigger elevates your level of the hormone cortisol. This elevated cortisol level is what we call “feeling stressed.” It’s also what contributes to the list of symptoms above.

Anxiety, on the other hand, does not rely on an external force. Anxiety is an undercurrent of worry and fear. Again, the cortisol levels are elevated, which explains why the symptoms are the same.

The major difference is that there is no grizzly bear chasing you down the street or upcoming deadline that seems to make you feel this way.

Temporary vs. Persistent

Stress goes away once the external force is removed. If the grizzly bear stops chasing you or you meet your deadline, then you feel “less stressed” because you no longer feel threatened by something.  Now, you can relax.

Anxiety, on the other hand, lingers. If the worry and fear persist even when the trigger is long gone, then we call this anxiety, not stress. Anxiety, by its very nature, prevents you from ever relaxing.

Good vs. Bad

Stress is a reasonable reaction to a situation. We all experience stress because that’s part of being human. Stress can be a call to action or the result of pushing your own limits.  A person who never experiences stress is probably not challenging themselves enough.

Without question, stress can be a good thing.

I believe that much of the confusion between stress and anxiety lies with the common use of the terms. We all know what someone means when they say they are anxious about a job interview or upcoming exam.

They are worried, nervous, excited and have “butterflies in the stomach.” Saying that they feel stressed or worried is probably a better choice then saying they have anxiety.

For 40 million American adults and 31% of adolecents, the “butterflies in the stomach” don’t go away even after getting an A on the exam or finding out they did not get the job. For them, anxiety remains, which is excessive fear in reaction to a non-threatening situation.

If everyone understood this definition, there would be much less confusion between stress and anxiety.

By this definition, there is no such thing as “good anxiety.” Anxiety is a condition that needs to be addressed. Although anxiety is common, it is not normal and should be treated.

Assuming that anxiety is normal could prevent someone from seeking help and actually living more peacefully. No one should live in a constant state of worry and fear, especially when there’s nothing truly threatening them.

It’s important to recognize that the cortisol levels are truly elevated in a person suffering from anxiety. In other words, the symptoms are entirely real and not at all imagined.

Yes, the significance of the threat is blown out of proportion, but the headache, racing heart, sweaty palms, difficulty concentrating and trouble sleeping are very much a real consequence. None of those symptoms should be discredited.

Self Monitoring vs. Professional Help

In most cases, a person can figure out ways to manage their own stress. Any one of these 70 tips to reduce stress could do the trick.

Anxiety, however, often requires professional attention. It’s rarely something that a person can “figure out” on their own. That being said, it can be cured. I know this because it happened to me.

My anxiety, like most, was triggered by long-term stress. I’d like to add that genetics, personality and brain chemistry also probably made me predisposed, but I didn’t suffer from anxiety until I started teaching at one of the best high schools in the nation.

Anyone who has ever had a classroom full of teenagers knows that it takes time to figure out how to be a competent teacher, let alone any good.

Those first few years were very stressful and even though I became better at my craft, I still felt the lingering worry and fear that…well to put it simply, that I just wasn’t good enough.

Years of internal dialogue telling me that I needed to come up with “Plan B” because I wasn’t cut out for teaching really left a mark, and I experienced a handful of the above symptoms on a daily basis.

Today, I can honestly say that my anxiety disappeared over a decade ago. For me, it took a combination of medication and therapy (and the love of a very supportive wife) to help break the negative thought loop, but it worked.

I no longer need medication or therapy to manage my anxiety. In fact, “my anxiety” isn’t even a thing anymore because it no longer exists. So, there’s nothing left to manage. And, I still have the supportive wife…win…win!

This was my experience, and I’m sure that anyone who suffers from (or has suffered from) anxiety has their own unique experience. I do know this: pretending or “covering up” is an unhealthy way to cope with either stress or anxiety.

Both must be acknowledged in order to get better at managing (or overcoming) them. That’s step one.

If you or someone you know suffers from anxiety then seek professional help.

Maybe the anxiety will go away…maybe not. But, life can certainly get better with professional help. And, who doesn’t want a better life?