I’ve been teaching freshman for the past 20 years (wait a minute…I need to let that sink in.  That means the kids in my first freshman class are now 34 yrs old…yikes!). This year, our oldest son is a high school freshman (I just can’t get away from them!).

This means that I have a pretty good sense of the transition stage between middle school and high school. There’s one characteristic that seems crucial to being a successful freshman. But, before I tell you, let me mention the others that are almost as important.  

Here are the three characteristics that are tied for second place in the successful freshman category.

1) Interpersonal Skills

There are lots of words for this (emotional intelligence, team player, good at collaboration, etc.).  But, here’s what it looks and sounds like in my classroom…

Good Manners

• Johnny, can you please hand me my charger?
• Thank you Mr. Morgan (each year more and more kids say this at the end of class)
• Excuse me, can I…

Participation

• Raising their hand when I ask a question
• Speaking up in small groups
• Volunteering to pass out a poem or to share their journal entry

Empathy

• Truly caring about the other kids (and the teacher) in the class
• Understanding that your words and body language can come across as encouraging, discouraging, or neutral

A student who has these interpersonal skills is just plain likeable, and likeability can go a long way in helping the transition to high school and allowing for a successful freshman year.  I’m not saying the goal should be likeability because that turns into the over zealous kid who passes out candy bars every morning just to “make friends.”  

I’m saying that good manners, class participation and empathy are excellent individual characteristics to have and parents should encourage these skills as much as studying hard and joining clubs.  These are great life skills that also make the transition to high school easier and more successful.

2) Frequent Readers

There’s a lot more reading in 9th grade compared to 8th grade.  Those who enter high school as frequent readers have an easier time adjusting to the amount of reading, the difficulty level, the comprehension, etc.  

I’ll admit, I’m an English teacher and have some bias here, but I also co-teach with a social studies and a world language teacher in a humanities-type class. In my experience, the readers among the group have less difficulty absorbing material, staying focused and following along.

Just to be clear, I’m not saying that teens need to read Shakespeare or Civil War Volumes.  They can read blogs, sports magazines, current events or video game articles. That doesn’t matter.  What they read is not nearly as important as that they read because frequent readers have a more successful transition freshman year.  

3) Self-advocates

This is such an important skill to have for multiple reasons.  By self-advocate, I’m essentially talking about emailing or meeting with a teacher for additional clarification/help.    

Here’s what happens when a kid advocates for themself…

• The teacher knows that they care about the class.  Be careful though, self-advocacy is not the same as merely wanting to discuss a couple of points on a quiz or test.  That’s closer to grade-grubbing and sends the exact opposite message, which is that you don’t really care about the class, you just care about your grade. Talking to the teacher about the ideas in class is an excellent way to show that you truly care.
• The teacher knows that they are willing to work hard to be successful.  Self-advocacy takes a little extra time and a little extra effort.  The kid who puts in the extra time and effort will get noticed in a positive light.  
• The teacher knows that they are independent problem-solvers and don’t rely on their parents to solve problems for them.

• The kid gets a better grasp of the material that they are struggling with.

• The kid gets a better grasp of the teacher’s expectations sooner than the confused kids who refuse to self-advocate.
• The kid builds a better relationship with their teacher.  I have over 100 kids each year. That means I’ve had over 2,000 students in my lifetime.  The ones who I remember most are the ones who frequently talked to me outside of the classroom.  The reality is that the best way to get to know a kid is by meeting one-on-one.

The last three reasons (better grasp of material, better grasp of expectations, and better relationship with their teacher) lead to an even larger benefit for those who self-advocate–happiness.  When a teenager feels less confused and more comfortable in the class, they’re going to be less stressed and all around happier, which are hallmarks of a successful transition from middle school to freshman year.

With all these benefits of self-advocacy, it’s hard to believe that there’s a more vital habit to have when transitioning from 8th grade to freshman year. Well, I think there is one, but you can decide for yourself.  

My number one most vital habit for success as a freshman is…Time Management.

The reason I pick this one is because it can help make up for weaknesses in the other three areas.  Even if a kid lacks interpersonal skills and is much more introverted than extroverted, even if they don’t read much, and even if they are reluctant to advocate for themselves, having good time management habits will help tremendously with a successful transition to high school.  

Plus, if you look at it the other way, a kid could have great interpersonal skills, could be a strong reader, and willing to advocate for themself, but if they’re horrendous at time management, their transition to high school will be rough. I’ve seen it many times.  If your teen is horrendous at time management don’t freak out.  Remember these two things.

First, and this is really important, time management is a skill, which means that ANYONE can get better at it.  I’m not saying your teen will turn into a productivity machine, I’m just saying that there are specific strategies to improve even the most helpless of cases.  

Second, there are many kids who make it through high school with poor time management skills.  They are still very happy, normal, successful kids who have a great high school experience.

However, from what I’ve seen over the past 20 years, the kids with strong time management skills have the smoothest transition into high school and from one grade level to the next.  

From talking with returning seniors, time management is also crucial to success during their freshman year of college as well. Bottom line: time management is a life skill that keeps paying dividends.

If you’re looking to improve their time management skills, which will reduce your teenager’s stress level, here are three things you can start doing right away.

Monitor Sleep

Yes, that’s the first one for a reason.  The sleep deprived kid is a disaster. A study published in Occupational and Environmental Medicine showed that sleep deprivation causes the same impairments as being drunk. Imagine what it’s like getting through high school while your drunk.  Impossible! Not to mention driving to and from school–very risky.

What makes sleep deprivation so dangerous is the vicious cycle that it creates. The teenager stays up late and only gets 6 hours of sleep or less. Then, while in school, they can’t concentrate. The kid goes to practice, work or straight home and is exhausted.  

If the teen takes a nap, they’ll be up all night. So, they try to stay awake and do their homework. The problem is that they have no idea how to do the homework assignment because they were foggy in class or they simply cannot focus enough to read right now.  

At this point kids will give up–usually watch Netflix, play video games or go on social media.  The highly motivated student will try to “push through” and ends up staying awake just as late as the night before because it takes much longer to complete the homework.  Once again, they get six or fewer hours of sleep, and the vicious cycle continues.

Lack of sleep is also a tell-tale sign that your son or daughter is not managing their time well.  Before you blame homework or out-of-school activities, take a good hard look at the way your teen is managing their time.  

If their time management skills are exceptional and they’re still getting less than 8 ½ hrs sleep (truthfully, the recommendation for teens is 9 ½ hours, but I know that’s unrealistic for the teenagers at my high school), then something needs to give.

That’s right…they are probably over-involved, are taking too many classes or working too many hours. Like I said, check the time management first, which includes finding out how much homework they are getting completed at school. If they have any kind of “study hall” time, then it starts there.

Distraction Free Time

Take the phone away during homework time. Managing time is about increasing focus–Snapchat and text messages are focus killers.  We were talking about this in class one day, and a student mentioned that her mom takes away her phone during homework time. To my surprise, I heard a handful of kids say, “You’re so lucky.”  

My son would never say, “I’m so lucky that my parents take away my phone while I’m doing homework.”  However, he knows that’s the expectation, and he doesn’t put up much of a fight… at least not anymore.  We also don’t let him sleep with the phone in his bedroom. Every kid is different. So, if the cell phone in the bedroom is not a distraction for your teen (in other words, it does not interfere with sleep), then this tip is not for you.  

There’s a strong argument to be made for letting your teen figure out how to problem solve for themselves. I mean, you can’t take away the phone in college, right? I completely understand that.

Yet, there’s also plenty of data showing that cell phones are an addictive technology.  My wife and I have decided not to let our high schooler try to manage an addiction on his own.  Therefore, no cell phone in the bedroom. I do know, however, that our son gets Snapchat messages every night between midnight and 2:00am on school days.  I also know that these messages are coming from different kids.

The temptation to grab the cell phone once the lights are out is just too strong for many high schoolers.  All high schoolers need some boundaries in our to be successful.  Help them reduce distractions.

Use a Calendar

A calendar will force time management skills.  Lots of high schools run on some type of modified schedule, which means that classes do not meet every day.  In our school, it’s a big adjustment having homework due every-other-day.

Many schools have their own classroom management system with a calendar built-in. Teens should check it nightly. Knowing deadlines for all the different assignments is a fundamental must have. If your teen doesn’t have this down, then you need to start with this right away.

However, a calendar can actually do a lot more than mark deadlines, especially for the kid who struggles with time management. If there are other issues, this is where the calendar becomes the potential cure.  

• Put a nightly checklist on your calendar…Make lunch, charge computer, put backpack near door, etc.
• The calendar can be used to create a to-do list for important tasks (meet with counselor, help build homecoming float, return sports uniform, get permission slip signed, etc.)
• The calendar can be used to breakdown large, long-range assignments into separate smaller assignments.  These self-imposed checkpoints teach kids how to handle big projects and eliminate feeling overwhelmed.
• Our son’s high school has at least five different daily schedules each month.  The calendar is the only way he can keep them all straight.
• Goal setting and steps needed to reach those goals can be put on the calendar.
• Tip: get used to looking at different views–daily, weekly, 2 weeks, monthly.

In my 20 years of teaching freshman, I can count on one hand the number of kids who were time management ninjas. So, please do not make this the expectation for your teen because that will probably lead to an unbelievable amount of stress and anxiety.  

My suggestion is to see what your kid is already doing and add the one most valuable tip.  The value added will be different for each kid. Figure out which one of these things will help your kid the most and help them implement that one thing to help them succeed.

In addition to teaching 9th graders, I also teach 12th graders.  The start of senior year is, without question, a stressful time for most of my students because of the college application process.

Not only are their brains and bodies adjusting to “back to school,” but they’re also getting bombarded with information about transcripts, standardized tests, recommendation letters, personal essays, etc.

Everything I’m saying applies to seniors as well. The kids who have a good grip of their time management skills are in a much better place–practically speaking and emotionally speaking. It really does pay to figure this out as a freshman.  

As an English teacher, I am more than happy to help students with their reading, writing, and speaking skills.  On parent night, I ask parents to leave the academic success up to the schools. Unless my son asks (which is hardly ever), I don’t look over his essays.  

The place that parents can help most is time management because these are habits that need constant reinforcement. I see 9th graders for 90 mins every-other-day.  I cannot provide much help with habitual time management skills. That really needs to happen at home.

Understand, there will probably be some growing pains if this is new to your teenager.  Honestly, the kids who often struggle the most are the high achieving 8th graders, who never had to work very hard for their academic success.  High school is a new ball game, and they usually have the most growing pains of all.

That’s okay!   We have words for this:  “maturing,” “growing up,” “part of the process.”  At this stage our goal is to guide them, not shove them, hover over them, rescue them or ditch them.  Simply guide them…guide them as best you can.