Before I explain the one brain fact that helps teenagers manage anxiety, here’s some quick background info. I teach at an affluent high school.  This community puts a high value on education. Kids come into 9th grade talking about the top university they want to attend and the grades, test scores, clubs and activities that will get them there.

Without question, their primary source of stress and anxiety is academics, and many of them have trouble managing it. Even the good helicopter parents have stressed out kids.

Like any other teen, they also stress about friendships, dating, family problems and after school jobs. But, most of these kids are on edge because of school. This year, I decided to do something about it. I found a way to talk about the wiring of our brains, which I had spent time researching over the summer.

While discussing a novel, we came across a character, who suffered from PTSD. I leaped at the chance to give a mini-lesson on the human brain. The kids soaked it up! To this day, they’re still making connections to the one brain fact that helps them manage their anxiety.

The Brain Fact Set-Up

Dr. John Cacioppo, former professor at The University of Chicago and social neuroscience pioneer, conducted a fascinating experiment.

First, participants were hooked up to a machine that measures brain activity. Then, they were shown random images–some were positive (chocolate cake, kids in a pool), some were neutral (a water bottle, a stapler), some were negative images (a mutilated face, a dead animal…I know, gross) all the while the researchers are monitoring brain activity.

The greatest amount of activity/response came from….(drum roll)….the negative images. Finally, after seeing dozens and dozens of images the participant is asked to recall them all. Which ones are remembered the most…you guessed it, the negative images.

The Brain Fact

Our brains crave negativity. Scientists have a name for it: Negativity Bias. In other words, we–the human species–are wired to look for problems, danger, and negativity in our lives. That’s right–our brains are built this way! Phew…it’s not just me.

Teens (and adults) must understand that our natural default is toward pessimism, not optimism. If left on it’s own, the human brain will always find gloom. This has nothing to do with a personal flaw or weak mind or our childhood. This is simply the way we’re made.

The Proof In Their Lives

Once I introduce Negativity Bias, teens are quick to point out examples. “Mr. Morgan, I bet that’s why there’s so much crime and bad stuff on nightly news,” John says. “So, is that why all those political commercials are so negative?” Lisa asks.

“That’s exactly why,” I say. I go on to explain that negative ads are more effective at capturing attention–no matter how much people say they hate them, negative ads work because our brains prefer them.

The final example that gets the message home is that each one of the kids can relate to having a good day that was ruined by one negative comment a friend says. It doesn’t matter how many compliments they got that day. It doesn’t matter if they got an A+ on their test that day.

The negative comment is what they fixate on and makes them feel lonely. I think everyone can relate to this. I know I can.

What I never realized before and what I love telling teenagers is that their brain was doing what it was meant to do, which is find problems and threats. Nothing is wrong with them. In fact, it’s just the opposite. Seeking the negative is the sign of a perfectly normal brain. Isn’t that amazing!

The Evolution of Negativity Bias

Scientists agree, our brains are built this way because of evolution. The cave dwellers were always on the lookout for problems and danger. That’s how they survived!

When they heard a noise behind the bush, they assumed it was a tiger ready to pounce on them. Imagine if there were ancestors who had a positivity bias: “Oh, don’t worry about that noise, it’s probably just the wind. We are safe.” Famous last words before the tiger eats them.

So, we can thank our ancestors for passing on this Negativity Bias. It was very helpful thousands of years ago–maybe even hundreds of years ago too. The problem is that even today a teenager’s survival is feeling threatened by much less threatening things than a tiger–an upcoming test, a missing homework assignment, a friend who won’t talk to them, a parent who’s disappointed, a dysfunctional family, etc.

Sure, some of these things are more stressful than others, but none of them are Tiger Threats. Our Negativity Bias, however, can make anything feel like a Tiger Threat. So often, we feel like these threats are external, when it’s our own brain causing the final exam to feel like an actual tiger is about to eat us.

Let me be clear, I would never suggest saying, “it’s just in your head” to a person experiencing a Tiger Threat situation, even though it’s not an actual tiger. I wouldn’t say it because it’s not the whole truth. A Tiger Threat has an in-your-bones feeling that travels throughout your entire nervous system, not just “in your head.”

It’s important to understand that all of the same fight-or-flight hormones that are released in the presence of a threatening tiger can be released in the presence of a final exam. The teenagers nervous system is clearly in legitimate fight-or-float mode. I have seen it many times, even in the form of a panic attack. The stress and anxiety are REAL.

The Solution That Helps Manage Anxiety

This is the best part! Just because our brains have a Negativity Bias doesn’t mean we are all doomed to be cynical people. Not at all.

Teens can absolutely train their brains to calmly assess the danger of the final exam that feels like a Tiger Threat. Teens can absolutely decide how they want to deal with the final exam that feels like a Tiger Threat.

Teens can absolutely tell themselves, “Okay, this is my brain doing what my ancestors used to do. If an actual tiger would be a 10 on the stress scale, what should a final exam be?”

I’m not saying this is easy, especially if your teenager lives in a constant state of stress and anxiety. Nor do I think it’s realistic to expect this kind of mature response every time. That being said, I wholeheartedly believe that teens are capable of recognizing their own Negativity Bias.

If you are saying right now, “Not my teen. It won’t work,” then you, my friend, are experiencing your own Negativity Bias. In other words, your normal brain is doing exactly what it’s supposed to be doing.

It’s okay…I still do this all the time. The only difference is that I now remind myself that my brain’s initial reaction will always be “Danger, Problem, Threat,” and I always have to ride out that initial wave of doubt before I can determine how dangerous, how problematic, and how threatening.

We (parents and teachers) can certainly guide and support teenagers as they face their own struggles with stress and anxiety. We can help them understand what’s going on by naming it for them and by reminding them that it’s completely normal to go through a day finding and feeling problems. If you’re interested in more specific suggestions, check out this great post: 11 Ways Parents Can Help Their Anxious Child.

The Classroom Impact of This One Brain Fact

This brain fact mini-lesson has been a godsend. I now hear kids saying things like, “Don’t let your Negativity Bias kick in, you got this!” I love hearing this kind of encouragement because it displays the perfect balance of attention to the head and the heart. It’s reasonable and empathetic at the sametime. Plus, it feels good knowing that my class understood the explanation and now has a better understanding of how their own brains work.

Okay, now it’s your turn…teach your teen this one brain fact to help manage anxiety. You’ll be helping your teenager, and you’ll also feel good doing it. You got this!